Dead musicians

(email, 2009)

Of all the bands I was in, Renfield Brick was my favorite.  After that all the other bands seemed kinda safe.  Even the craziest most dangerous ones. I don’t know why, though, they weren’t lame at all. I loved them. But Renfield Brick was special….That’s such ancient history, completely gone. Chuck’s been dead years now, an OD. Ed is HIV positive. And I’m not even in rock’n’roll anymore. My second favorite band was my first, Keene White.  Chuck’s dead, and the singer died of Hep C he got from shooting up. Wasn’t even a junkie anymore…never had been really. Just chipping with the wrong needle. He died on the table..they were prepping him for a liver trasplant but the infection got him first. Close but no cigar. A few musicians from later bands and projects are dead…two from testicular cancers, a couple more ODs. There’s more, I’m sure, but I can’t recall the others right now, and I ain’t gonna try. Why? Just picking at those thick punk rock callouses, seeing if they bleed. They do, if ya don’t leave ’em alone. You pick and pick and pick and then late at night the blood flows and I find myself sighing and saying aloud Chuck, you dumbfuck…..

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