Today is the thirtieth of March, a couple weeks past the Ides, so you can stop bewaring. It’s also my brother Lex’s birthday and I don’t even know how old he is. I used to think he was older than me because his birthday came a week before mine and since my dad’s birthday is a month before mine that meant Lex was older than me (but not older than our dad, because that would be too weird.) Apparently that’s not how it works. I was born before him, I know that because I was there and he wasn‘t and I never got his hand me downs. So he’s either 51 or 52 or 17, whichever comes first. I do know that my brother Lex walked at six months. I don’t mean he left, not that kind of walked, but we were in the living room or den of a split level place near Skaggsville MD (seriously, I went to Skaggsville Elementary School in first grade, but never White Horse Intermediate or Great Shit High School) and my brother was doing this bowlegged bipedal thing down the stairs and we froze, afraid to move lest he tumble. He didn’t. Which is why he’s fifty-something years old today. So Happy birthday, Lex.

Lex

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