Happy Birthday, Lex

Fun fact: Lex Wahl was born this day in Fairfield CA. OK, that’s not a fun fact. It’s a boring fact. We’re talking Fairfield CA. Halfway between Sacramento and Frisco. If crows flew between them that is where they’d stop and take a leak. If crows took leaks. Do they? I thought they just aimed at windshields. Anyway, I’ve been to Fairfield a couple times. It’s what they call a bedroom community. Let’s just hope there’s more going on inside them than out on the town. I assume there is, as there is no shortage of children, unless they buy them at the mall. Or grow them from pods. Or they were all holograms or hallucinations or a convention of midgets. All three of which happened to me once, actually, but that was in Glendale, and not on Lex’s birthday. And I think it was my birthday, at the Alex Theatre, and I was backstage arguing with the Gay Men’s Chorus. I hate the Sound of Music and will not sing along, ever. Not even in Armenian. They threw me out. Now you know. But this isn’t about me, so nevermind.

I have to admit I have no idea what year Lex was born in. Sometime after me, I know that. They were all after me. All five of them. Some single child I’d make. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Anyway, whatever, like that, and Happy Birthday, Lex.

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