Martin Shkreli

There was a time when the funniest thing about Albania was a king named Zog. Funnier than that, though, is the fifty thousand pillboxes their nutjob Stalinist dictator had installed everywhere with enough concrete to build several Hoover dams. They’re everywhere, in yards, in pastures, on beaches, in the street, or in little clutches like eggs in a nest, their gun portals facing all which ways. That’s funny. Of course Albania is doing well now, democratic and stable, hip and beautiful, a tourist mecca. So what happens? The son of an Albanian janitor in Brooklyn gives away fifteen million dollars in bitcoins to some nonexistant human–no doubt Russian–to get the sole copy of Kanye West’s new album. Fifteen million dollars poof, just like that. Better yet is that he originally offered ten million and his supposed Kanye contact got him up to fifteen million. There are Nigerians rolling their eyes to heaven wondering why didn’t they think of that. Fifteen million dollars. Do you know how many pillboxes you can buy with fifteen million dollars? Enough to build a Brooklyn Bridge, which Martin Shkreli also owns, I’m sure. Yet something tells me this can’t possibly be true, that’s it all some weird twitter hoax. I mean good Zog, can rich people really be this stupid?

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