If you want to make your wife mad, set fire to your socks. Even with your feet not in the socks she’ll get mad. Wives just get mad when you burn things, even accidentally, no matter how stupid. You burned a big hole in your sock, she scolded. I decided this was not the time nor place for the Darn it joke I been waiting to use for years. Instead I promised never to light a candle again.
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Brick Wahl 
I just want to timidly suggest that behavior which compels one’s wife to scold “you burned a big hole in your sock” is probably not defensible behavior. Be smart with your socks and fire, big fella. Do we really need to go over this again?
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Well I wasn’t actually wearing them…..
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