Not to change the subject, but I only have one more colonoscopy to go. Been getting them every ten years since 40, and they always schedule the next one when you’re done with the last. Scheduling nurse says OK, you’re booked for your 70th, and that’ll be it, she said. That’ll be it? They don’t book any past 70, she said. That’s how you know you’re getting near the end of the road.

That last one was the year, way back in 2017, that a very attractive nurse came into my waiting room, smiled, scanned the charts, checked my pulse, stuff like that. I remember thinking I just hope she’s not my colonoscopy nurse. It’s not my best side. She wasn’t. She was the colonoscopy doctor. You have a very healthy colon, she said. I have no idea if I blushed, as my ass was anesthetized.