My Yahoo email account has degenerated into a mass of depressing political headlines and frantic press releases for bands I have never heard of. In the middle of all this, gleaming like a very cheap rhinestone, is news that Norms is open on Thanksgiving. Better than Dennys, I suppose. An ad a few years ago that Dennys was open on Christmas sent me into a spiral of despair alleviated only by binge watching the Hallmark Channel. An entire alternate universe of bad Christmas movies. Happy ending after happy ending after happy ending, plus no one ever gets naked on the Hallmark Channel. You notice things like that after a week. By then I was sick to death of Christmas and it wasn’t even Thanksgiving. I brought this up to the waitress at Norms as she served my turkey dinner. A lovely thing, she asked me if I wanted more coffee. I made a joke. She sighed loudly. I fell madly in love with her and tipped too much. Two weeks later this story wound up as a plot on the Hallmark Channel. Either I plagiarized it or it plagiarized me. Digital multiverses. No matter how stupid a post I write, it is reality in another space and time.

Fortunately, we are having Thanksgiving at home this year.

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