Signed up for Medicare last night, then for Kaiser’s Senior Advantage Plan. All these pictures of sweet old people. Then today the Girl Scout cookies arrive, six different kinds. I opened the shortbread cookies. Not the Tagalongs, not the Do-Si-Dos, not the Lemon Whatevers or the Samoas. Not even the Thin Mints. I’d never not immediately opened the Thin Mints in my entire life. It was like it was a law, or biology, something involuntary that compels us to open up the thin mints first. Maybe it’s pheremonal. But no, this time I opened the shortbread cookies. I can’t even remember what they’re called. But only old people open the shortbread cookies first. Grandmas especially. They put them on a plate next to the ginger snaps and vanilla wafers. Grandma cookies.

My wife went right for the thin mints.