Last night words kept me up

(2010)

Last night words kept me up, some piece coming together that I couldn’t shake.  It developed paragraph by unwritten paragraph inside my skull till finally it completed itself and let me sleep after 2 in  the fucking morning. That happens a lot. When my med levels are off it happens more. I dreamed another story, dreamed I was writing it, till it woke me around 5 am. I laid there sleepy with this fucking story going through my head. A ridiculous 5 am story…I never use 5 am stories. Men are crazy at 5 am. Maybe you’ve noticed.

No writing  today, nothing. No emails today, but this one. Hopefully no stories tonite. I wish I knew why that happens, but it’s always happened. Just words, man. It’s like I’m practicing. Working things out. Well, not me practicing, but it, the language. It sits up there in our brain, an actual thing, and it sometimes make us do things that not to our advantage. This isn’t LSD talking…it’s actually neuro-linguistic theory, one rather difficult to grasp. .It’s just too weird. Anyway, this language thing gets stirred all up in there round that hole in my brain in the Broca’s region and doesn’t give a flying fuck about what the rest of the body needs, or wants. Namely sleep. But tonite I sleep. I promise.

I’ve heard of musicians tormented by the music in  their heads. It’s the same thing, I bet. The music being created incessantly and the poor bastard whose brain contauins it wishes it wasn’t there. Creativity, it’s wildly overrated.

Anyway I have more to do before I go home. Then I watch a hockey game and we order a pizza and drink beer and talk and I go to sleep.

John Turturro

[from the last ever Brick’s Picks in the LA Weekly]

Just saw John Turturro’s Passione and talk about a revelation. We barely knew anything about Neapolitan music. Dean Martin, Lou Canova, pizza parlor juke boxes…that’s about it. Who knew that back in ancient, messed up, photogenic Naples was the real thing.  Not even the hippest radio stations played the stuff. That bothered Turturro. He loves this music. So he did one of those things that must drive Hollywood agents utterly mad…he took a film crew over there and shot 23 songs by 23 different acts in 23 different locations in 21 days and man, you gotta see the results. There isn’t a performance that isn’t stellar…the passion and intensity is so stirring you’d have to be a hardened cynic not to be moved. The tunes run the artistic gamut from street singers to classic love songs to art songs to operatic numbers to a very Neapolitan rap, rock and even reggae. Even a couple flat out weird numbers. Turturro limits himself on screen to a couple street interviews (and one freaky dance); mostly he just narrates, sparingly. He doesn’t edit the tunes all to hell and no story line bogs the thing down. It’s just music and locations and people…no heavy analysis, no dreadful music critics, and unlike Buena Vista Social Club, no American musicians sit in and taint everything. Nope. This is the best music flick we have seen since Calle 54, and to be honest, we liked this even more. Go see it. Buy the soundtrack. You’ll be making pasta and singing “O Sole Mio” to your dog, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Musician?

Musician? I’m a musician now? Where did that come from? I mean, I played drums for years, yeah, but I was one of those drummers for which the term musician was quite a stretch…. I didn’t even know Don Heckman knew about that.

Had fun, though. Girls, drugs, parties. Not to mention tearing down on stage as the next band is trying to set up and my guitarist is backstage somewhere doing something fun or illegal.

Oh, and the violence, bar room brawls, a night in jail, kicked over drum kits, getting dusted and playing with my hands (a lotta blood), taking on a dozen cops (they won), a lot of funerals (none my own), turning down a chance to be a porn star (I love that story), who knows what else. A helluva lotta fun.

But it never once occurred to me to call myself a musician.

Of course, how I became a jazz critic I will never understand either. It wasn’t my idea. Nice perks, tho’. Plus you get all kinds of jazz credibility without having to be a, well, musician.

Heckling

Heckling’s a lost art. Back in my punk rock days being heckled meant they liked you. Unless they heckled because they didn’t like you. It was a subtle distinction. Same with the beers thrown at you…if they threw them unopened it could mean they were tossing you a beer, a good thing. Then again, the first punk show I ever saw the opening act—some completely bogus glitter bunch who tore their jeans for the occasion—were bombarded first with empties, then with half fulls that made cool beer arcs as they sailed through the air, and finally with unopened cans because they could actually hurt. The band was that bad. One well aimed can knocked over a ride cymbal and they fled for their lives.

I came back to my pad back then thinking this shit was soooo cool, better than all the miserable post hippie sell out rock or mewling singer-songwriters or disco or the jazz players in ludicrous side burns playing loud fusion crap. I was ready for some craziness. Everything sucked in 1977. Everything. If you were young and broke—and who wasn’t by 1977—you were fucked. No future, Johnny Rotten sang, no future for you. He wasn’t kidding.

A couple years later, having become a lousy but spirited and sometimes violent drummer,  there was a show once where a we were pelted with beer bottles (which was a good thing at this show…since we were trying to bring the crowd to the edge of rioting—-don’t ask why, but it made sense at the time)…and I managed to nail an airborne bottle with a stick and it shattered into a shower of golden shrapnel. Alas the rest of the band was in the way. But that was punk rock.

And there was the time I kicked over the kit at the set’s end—I kicked over my kits  many times, loved it—and remembered as the drums crashed and bounced across the stage that, ummm,  it wasn’t my kit. It was the short little fuck of a drummer who we’d intimidated into letting me use it. We’d kinda stormed the stage. Had enough of that shitty new wave band. Hated new wave bands.

Man, we were assholes in them days. Ha! Punk rock, baby. Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke. That, by the way, was my wife’s slogan. No wonder I fell head over heels for her. Later, after seeing Repo Man, she added “Normal people, I hate ’em.” She did too.

How I wound up a jazz writer I’ll never know.

Grand Canyon

The Grand Canyon is such an amazing place, and at any of the scenic views, all of which are at the edge of the abyss (and it is an abyss), there’s this feeling of death that never leaves until you are safely back in the car. I imagine that is part of the attraction of the park, there’s a thrill to it. I think we’re all terrified by the notion that on some crazy impulse we didn’t even know we had, we would hurl ourselves over.  I think that’s what takes hold of a few people every year. As they fall they wonder just what the hell made them do such a crazy thing.

My god, what an unsettling thought that is.

Ghidorah

Tonight (10/4/04) – Kerry benefit: GHIDORAH hard rock fiesta

Ghidorah are my favorite rock band now.  They shred.  They rocked so hard and out I had no idea they were covering a King Crimson song and therefore could not respond intellectually.  They do great old Cream songs that gets Bob Moss really excited.  Vince plays drums and he even sings just like the dude in Rare Earth.  Carey’s out there boing/screech chunka chunka chicken headed guitar generated a ten minute long Curly Joe imitation by Cake.  They once played completely naked except for three very rare English prog 45’s they found on Ebay for a lot of money.  They will scare all the conservatives, confuse all the liberals, and ignore the Naderites.  The Natural Law people will understand, though.  They generated more dope smoking among the audience than any pop group since The Five Man Electrical Band blew Miles Davis off the stage at Watkin’s Glen.  And as an added treat, Pat Hoed does the worst Johnny Winter impression I have ever seen. 

They certainly qualify as groovy.

First car

I learned to drive a standard transmission when I bought my buddy’s Opel for $350. Think it was a ’68 coupe. Amazing car. Too small to fuck in, but you could grow a crop of corn in the shag carpeting. Which I did.

A '68 Buick Opel Kadett. Mine was canary yellow.

A ’68 Buick Opel Kadett. Mine was canary yellow.

Carmageddon

Help.

I’m stuck in traffic on the 2 freeway, two days now on the bridge over the Los Angeles River. Carmageddon. Drivers have given up and abandoned their vehicles, roving gangs are robbing and killing, I haven’t seen a highway patrol officer in days. All I can hear is gunfire, wailing and illegal aliens. All I can see are the smoldering ruins of a dead civilization. Situation desperate. Running out of food, water and air. Can someone send help?

Just don’t take the 405.

Brick

Barstool

Two tecates and lunch at the bar of Don Cucos, watching the bartender shake tequila silly, and all the problems of the world go away.  I was gloriously all by myself. Didn’t have to answer one inane question from coworkers or reporters or musicians or anybody. Just me, the bartender, and some leggy, stacked blonde on the channel nine news hired for her meteorological skills.

Amos

[a scrap from a larger unfinished fiction piece set in 1916 Connecticut, from the 1980’s]

 …..within minutes, City Hall was buzzing like a beehive in the spring. How does this all concern Amos Woburn? Who at this very minute was licking stamps in a gas lit, paper strewn cubbyhole in Republican headquarters? His tongue seemed swollen from the effort, and his eyelids heavy. Was it the glue, he thought, or the rainy patter on the window that was making him so sleepy. At the very bottom of the political heap, all of twenty-two years and six feet and little under 12 stone and certainly no Casanova but whose mind positively reeled with ideas political, military historical and scientific. He put down the envelope—there were so many—and jotted a few aimless thought for the masterwork he’d been contemplating “The Intellectual Foundation of Our Civilization” which was to tie together—to ‘synthesize’ (Oh! such a word…)—Darwin, Thoreau, Freud, Lincoln, Shakespeare, Plato, Thomas Aquinas and of course, Teddy Roosevelt—a grand theory of the moral basis of power. This magnum opus of a decade of adolescent intellectual progress, sat only twenty three hopelessly tangled pages deep on his desk, and in his darker, nay more lurid moments of introspection seemed not much to show for a youth spent worming through books while his friends were out, uh, getting some. For Amos Woburn, at least in the context of tinyPiscquatFalls’ politics, was nothing. A gofer. A stamp-licking flunky. No matter how violent a storm swirled about Mayor O’Bryan’s succession, little Amos could rest assured that it would safely pass him by—maybe leave him a little damp, but untouched.

But then storms can do strange things.

They can drive bibles through telephone poles and leave lakes where once lay only dust. And lightning: everyone has tales of the close ones—a nearby tree exploding in a shower of sparks. Or the direct hits: a man knocked flat by a crackling white bolt, rising shaken but alive. A rarity to be sure, but some do live, and oft times possess a special magic, a spiritual dimension that was lacking before, as if to be struck by lightning was to be touched by the hand of the Lord.

So was Amos touched.

It was late, and the flickering gas lamp threw shadows of various sizes against the wall. The rain drummed steadily, and Amos looked groggily out the window, following the tiny rivulets that formed at the top of the pane and disappeared at the bottom. His mouth was full of the sweet taste of stamp glue, his lips sticky with it. The posted enveloped were piled up to one side, the much greater unposted stack was off to the other, and between the two Amos surrendered and rested his hand on his arms. Sleep came quickly.

A shot:

the window shattered and a metal file cabinet in the office was punctured with a bang. Amos screamed, more out of surprise than terror, and with a start knocked both piles off the desk, sending letters posted or not fluttering through the office. A cold wind blew in through the open window, spraying Amos with cold drops of rain. He huddled beneath the desk. Something—whether a rational thought or a much deeper survival instinct—set him listening, and his sudden extraordinarily acute sense of hearing picked up the sounds of footsteps running away. One man, splashing heavily across water-covered cobblestones. An impulse to see his assailant overcame fear and he rose and peered out. The wind-whipped rain blinded him momentarily, but he caught a glimpse of a man, his macintosh gleaming wet in the dim gas lit luminescence, trying to run across the cobblestones without falling. His arms were extended for balance, and in one hand he could plainly see a large colt revolver. It stood out black and monstrous against the dreary night. A strong gust swept through the room, shuffling papers, blowing the calendar off the wall. A chill settled in Amos’ spine. That was the biggest gun he had ever seen, and it had fired at him. But he could not make out the gunman. Amos thrust his head threw the shattered window to get a better look. The figure was gingerly stepping around a corner, unable to move with any speed on the slippery pavement. Amos felt angry—there is the man that tried to shoot me and he is getting away. He wanted to do something. Lights were showing in surrounding windows, curtains drawing back. Witnesses brought his courage surging, and Amos leaned halfway out the window into the rain and yelled. “Hey!” The escaping figure froze momentarily but then thought better of it and kept moving. “Hey you!” Amos screamed indignantly, “Stop!” The gunman quickened his step. The rain was soaking Amos, drops ran down his face and his shirt was plastered to his back. “Stop I say!” His screams brought more lights flickering to in the surrounding houses, curtains drawn back and shutters thrown open. “Stop or I’ll call for the police!”

The last threat had an effect. The man stopped. He turned round. Slowly. Amos was wondering just how he was going to call the police when he noticed the man raising the gun. It was pointed right at him. Through the rain and poor light he could not hope to make out the man’s face for the police report. But then, perhaps it would have been of no use, for right above the visor of the man’s cap, shining faintly in the light, was the emblem of the Piscquat Falls Police Department.

Amos ducked back in. The report echoed down the street. The bullet smashed into the window frame, and the exploding fragments of wood caught Amos on the head. As he lost consciousness the surrounding gaslights were extinguished and windows shut with a ragged series of bangs.