A writer just accused me of not being a jazz person. Not sure why exactly, something to do with either liking rock music or rock music fans. He sure was pissed though. I wonder what I have to do to prove I’m a jazz person? Just what is a jazz person? Am I a fraud? Now I’m having an existential crisis. What would Monk do? Well, actually Monk would mumble and spin around and not get up till sundown. Though that’s not being a jazz person, that’s being a Monk person. I tried to be a Mingus person, taught my cat to use the toilet and everything, but somebody chased me with an ax. And I tried to be a Roland Kirk person but kept bumping into things. So I decided to be a Wynton person and just get on everyone’s nerves. Which automatically makes me a jazz person. Existential crisis over.
There was that time at LACMA a couple years ago, one of their Friday jazz nights, and I’m chatting with some people. A guy just cuts right in and snarls Hey, is your name really Brick Wahl? Uh, yeah, it is. Well, how the hell did you get a stupid name like that?
I politely explained. My name is Phil, my wife’s name is Phyll…so I got the nickname, etc etc. He didn’t understand what the hell was wrong with two people having the same goddam name. I said oh well. He said I’m a jazz writer, too. Can you get me a job? I told him to contact the paper. He thanked me and split.