I got my AARP card as soon as I turned 50, just to terrify my 40 something friends. They’d blanche, grab onto something for balance and order another drink. One in particular, a writer, cute as a bug, seemed to take it especially hard. Happy birthday she said. Yup, I’m fifty. Wow, fifty. I even got my AARP card. She laughed. No really, look. She looked at it, the smile disappeared. Oh no Brick, she said, and this look came over as she thought of all the years she’d wasted collecting stamps, to quote Rufus T. Firefly.

 

I didn’t laugh. I didn’t even snicker. I just waited several years and wrote this.