One of those parties that will flash before your eyes

(2013)

I wrote this long beautiful piece on an endless party at the Cafe NELA last nite. It was gorgeous, that piece. Then Facebook froze and the words dissolved into electrons so fuck it. Good party though. Great even. One of those parties that will flash before your eyes.

It was kinda like Al’s Bar was but without the out of control berzerkness, puking and sexual tension. You know, old people. Fun old people, though. The guy next to me even fell off his barstool, right on his back. Wham! Thought he was knocked out. But he was just drunk. You could tell he was drunk because he said he wasn’t drunk. Not even ouch. Just I’m not drunk. That was Al’s Bar to me. Also, instead of the patio they had a whole glaucoma-free back yard with lawn chairs and booths that used to be where the stage is now. No photo booth, though, and even if they did I doubt anyone would fuck in it. Unlike Al’s.
But like Al’s, this had none of Raji’s heroin chic. But like Raji’s, this place was comfortable. And like the Anti-Club, it has a big open space out back. And like Mr T’s, it had Duley. Though he wasn’t bouncing anybody here. Just playing drums. It happens.
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Duley Toledo kicking out the jams.

Duley Toledo kicking out the jams.

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Claude Van Damme

I wore one of Claude Van Damme’s jackets for years. A team jacket, a heavy thing, all lined and hip and cool and big shouldered. A friend swiped it from his dressing room. It was an extra, he never missed it (or so she told me.) That was my pre-blazer look. A Claude Van Damme jacket, Italian army boots and, at the time, strong as an ox. Stupid as an ox, too, but we’re talking looks here, not brains. Anyway, there’s a photo of me wading into a brawl, breaking it up. Probably about 1987. Some asshole punks had hauled the longhair soundman down to the floor by his ponytail and were kicking the shit out of him. It was ugly, vicious, cowardly. I started pulling them off of him. It was like tossing dolls across a room. One of them took a swing at me. I went to hit him, realized I could kill him just like that, so I bitch slapped him. Whack, whack. He crumpled, the room went silent, nobody moved.  I went back to the bar, the band started up and it was like nothing had happened.

Violence is a weird thing, man, a weird thing.

The sleeve to the Brother Brick Says single by nmy brother Jon's band, Claw Hammer.

The sleeve to the Brother Brick Says single by my brother Jon’s band, Claw Hammer.  The long haired cat on the left is the prick who started it…he lit out quick and avoided the pounding he deserved. Used to see him slinking around, followed by a bunch of kids who for some reason idolized the guy. He gave off that weird Manson vibe…if you hang around the underground scene long enough you run into types like him. I figure he’s either in prison or a lawyer by now. Maybe a preacher. Maybe dead.

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You started the fight, Van Gogh

(2012)

Harley Flanagan Arrested: Founder Of Cro-Mags Charged With Assault For NYC CBGB Fest Fight
NEW YORK — Authorities say a two people were stabbed and one was also bitten before a show at the New York City music venue Webster Hall. Harley Flanagan, a founder of the hard-core punk band the Cro-Mags, was arrested on assault charges. Published reports say the victims were current members of the group.

No information on an attorney for Flanagan was immediately available.

The violence happened Friday night during the CBGB Festival. CBGB representatives say in a statement that the disturbance shouldn’t overshadow the events, which included free concerts in Times Square and Central Park.

CBGB was once a famed Manhattan rock venue where bands like The Talking Heads performed in the early 1980s. The venue closed in 2006. The festival is an attempt to revive the CBGB brand.

The “CBGB brand”? Are you kidding me? Rock music is so fucked up anymore, just another bullshit business. I’m glad somebody got bit. At least that’s punk rock. Hell, back then if you didn’t get bit or beaten or jailed or wailed on somehow, you weren’t doing the shit right. When you can brand CBGB’s, it’s time to destroy everything and start all over. No shit. That should’ve happened along time ago already. I can’t believe there’s a whole generation of kids who think what we did back then was cool. I mean you simpering little fucks, you’re supposed to hate what we did. We did. Shit, we lived to harass hippies. Always hate what came before you. How do you think music changes? I suppose this is not part of the music appreciation course curriculum, however. You don’t study it when earning that MBA in music industry administration. Sigh…..Would’ve loved to have seen that idiot bite those guys. My guitar player bit a guy’s ear off back in the 80’s. OK, it was just an earlobe. But you shoulda the dude crawling around the floor of the Anti-Club looking for his earlobe like a lost contact lens. Like here ya go, Doc, sew it back on. Yeah, sure. You started the fight, Van Gogh. He was a rich kid anyway. He could buy another. Ya know, I’m supposed to be a hot shit jazz journalist now, but sometimes I miss punk rock.

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