Hockey

I can’t help thinking that given we are allotted only so many hours in a life, then wasting three of them watching a 4-0 hockey game is somehow morally wrong. Especially after doing the same thing yesterday. Oh wait, Jersey scored. So it’s a 4-1 hockey game. And to think I had thought I was watching my existence drain away unfulfilled.

John Ramirez

You big literate fuck, quit writing so well. There’s only room for one poetic underachieving big gnarly lug in this town, and it ain’t you. So what’s with the “I smell tamales, marijuana, burnt hair, and disappointment. What the hell is going on here?” This is Facebook. Writing is dead. Mediocrity prevails. Why can’t you get with the program? Just hit the like button a few times, change your profile picture, add a YouTube link and voila, you’ve written a novel. Better yet, tweet something. Anything. 140 characters, including spaces. But lay off the literacy and pretty writing. I don’t want to see one more post I wish I’d written. Fuck you.

Aside from that I’ve had a great weekend.

Ennio Morricone

Ennio Morricone? The guy who did the soundtracks to those Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns?  Cool scores, yeah, but I hate those movies. I really do. Imagine living in a world where every hip person loves The Good, the Bad & the Ugly except me. That’s my world. It’s kinda like a Bergman movie, but I don’t like those either. In fact I don’t like anything. Not even me, except when I’m great. Which is most of the time. But then I am an insufferable egomaniac, and I can’t stand egomaniacs. So I’m screwed no matter which way you look at it. I could go on, but it’d be boring, and I’m already bored, and I hate people who hate bored people, which I do.

Voiceless alveolar bilabially trilled affricate

Good writing does have its place, I replied to the economist, but not in the press much anymore. Since journalism is driven by online readership (as opposed to print readership) the press needs people who can turn copy quickly and can write  basically their entire piece in the first paragraph. Few readers get past that. Furthermore (I continued), revenue comes in the number of hits. There’s not much value in a reader staring at one page a long time, unless you can distract him with those ever changing graphic ads that lead you to another page, anyway. You’ll find good writing tucked away on obscure if beautifully written blogs that tend towards the literate and academic. As far as readers go they are in the backwaters of the web, but worth the search, if you’re so inclined. Which I am. But, like you, I also enjoy the occasional bit of academic writing myself. Not economics….Lord no, I get lost. Fascinated, but lost. But I have a weakness for linguistics. Still, I prefer my Chomsky in English so generally avoid the original and read one of his  acolytes. Kind of like Joyce. One of the reasons that I was so excited about that upstart Daniel Everett was that he could write in English. Besides, if it weren’t for Daniel Everett I’d have no idea what a voiceless alveolar bilabially trilled affricate is. Though, to be honest, I still don’t know what a voiceless alveolar bilabially trilled affricate is, no matter how many times I listen to the damn MP3. Voiceless alveolar bilabially trilled affricate. In German that would be one word.

Sigh…I passed out on the couch hours ago after taking an allergy pill and now I woke up and it’s 3:30 in the morning and I just wrote voiceless alveolar bilabially trilled affricate three times. Four times.

It fades, pads closing, in a long, drawn out sigh….

It is a travesty that so little L.A. jazz is visible on YouTube. It really is. It’s not that nobody was filming…there was always somebody filming. So where the hell is the footage?  Typical lazy jazz fans…..Being one, I should know. But it’s a shame…all that extraordinary music and poof….it’s no more. Gone.

But I managed to find a clip of Herman Riley at Giannelli Square out in the Valley. Riley was one of the most perfect tenor players I ever witnessed. Breathtaking. And dig that Giannelli Square…..yet another lost L.A. jazz joint. The recession was brutal to this town’s jazz scene. Watching that scene melt away as the economy tanked was so sad it hurt. I had an especially stark vantage point writing Brick’s Picks for the LA Weekly during those years. The clubs closed up and all those connections drop away. All that music passes into history. Hell, not even that. It passes into oblivion, unrecorded. No one recorded it, no one filmed it, scarcely anyone even wrote about it. All that creativity existing purely in the now…and now that now was …then, and is gone. When we who saw it finally pass, it will not be history anymore, it will be gone, nothing. This town’s history does that, disappears. Plowed under, forgotten, never existed. It’s all future in L.A., and no past. Don’t look back, there’s nothing there.

I still miss Herman Riley. I recall a show at Charlie O’s…Herman Riley, Nate Morgan at the piano, John Heard and Roy McCurdy bass and drums. Damn. The music felt like it would live forever, but it doesn’t. In fact if I hadn’t written about it I probably wouldn’t even remember that particular night at all. Or maybe I would.

Yeah, I would. It was that good.

.

John Altman

John Altman plays with the Mark Z Stevens Trio tonite, Saturday Feb 2, at the Desert Rose in Los Feliz, corner of Prospect and Hillhurst. Music is 7 to 11. There’s no cover. That’s the bare facts. Everything below is just my usual charmingly humorous diatribe, but hell, if I were you I’d read it. Besides, Mark asked if I could spread the word about the gig. I said sure, Mark, anything for you babe.  Because that’s the way we talk in show biz, and that’s the way we roll. Continue reading

Rick Stevens

Terrific singer, horrific crime, I never thought I’d see this. He’s appearing with Tower of Power…the band is up for it. I’d love to see that, he was my fave of their vocalists. His ability to shift from conversation to singing and back on “You’re Still A Young Man” is just extraordinary, I remember being amazed at that even as a kid. It was so street, man, so real. Too real, I guess, him spinning out on speedballs and whatever, a junkie tweeked out of his skull. His crime was bad, man, real bad. No thinking at all, just bad paranoia with a gun. Yow. Hard time for a zillion years, for life, for life doubled even, did the crime and doing his time twice over, forever. Then a miracle, he’s out, and he sure ain’t a young man no more. But I bet he can still sing, sing like nobody’s business, and in a world where people can’t even sing for real for the President and Martin Luther King, I doubt you’ll hear a note or a word out of this man that ain’t as real as real can get. I’m looking forward to his day on stage.
Anyway, here’s the story.

Liner notes

Here’s some liner notes I wrote a quarter century ago. I had two knees then, a lot more hair, a lot less me. That pool hall–actually a warehouse turned pool hall–I remember well, a great place. I kept the guitar player from getting his ass kicked one night by bikers after he smashed his axe in a Hendrix like rage and hurled it across the room. It soared high overhead and nailed a big overhead light which exploded in spark and flame. Cool. Two big dudes grabbed him and were about to lay an Altamont on him–he deserved it–but I jumped in and claimed I was his manager and if they laid a hand on him I’d sue. They backed off, but a couple beers and a cooling off later, the band discovered their van busted into and the guitars–and only the guitars–had been smashed to atoms. Everyone figured it was a fair trade.

I think I had to do that manager bit a couple times over the years, keeping people out of trouble. One time I was an A&R man for Sony, I think, and I went up and offered the guitar player of another band a contract. The security guard has just tasered him–they were making a complete mess of the stage, smoke and creamed corn all over the place, and the guard flipped out and tasered the dude when he said you taser me and I’ll kick your skinny ass. The guard tasered and the guitar player writhed on the stage while the band kept playing. That band never stopped. The guard could have shot him and the band would have kept on playing. When it looked like the guard–a little Barney Fife of a guy–was gonna taser the guitar player again I stepped in with the contract offer. The suit and tie helped. Guard looks at me and says you wanna sign THESE guys? But he did put the taser away.

I’ve yet to see a taser used on a jazz stage. Or creamed corn, for that matter. Maybe I’m just hanging out at the wrong clubs.

Anyway, here they are, the liner notes I wrote about the band in that first paragraph. I’ll leave the second band, with the smoke and the creamed corn and the taser, to your imagination for now. That giant pool hall, incidentally, burned to the ground a few years later with one of the bikers inside. A case of arson-murder apparently. I remember they called him Machine Gun.. Apparently he came back from Nam a little damaged. There’s probably one in every biker gang. As for the metal club (was it called the Metal House?) I doubt it’s around anymore either. I remember it was owned by one of the Village People. Don’t know which one. Maybe the sailor.

Wisconsin Death Trip

(Liner notes from the various artists compilation album Gimme The Keys, the band is Lexington (aka Lexington Devils), the tune “Wisconsin Death Trip”, 1987)

I can remember the first time I heard “Wisconsin Death Trip”.  The band was playing in a biker\bar in an industrial stretch of Anaheim—you know, all parking lots and dumpsters and broken glass.  The club was an immense pool hall, really, row after row of billiards tables surrounded by bikers and their women, punks trying to look like junkies and junkies like punks, old hippies with beads and bellies, barmaids with them perfect asses.  Typical rock’n’roll environment.  Lexington was playing to an indifferent crowd, the crowd being those who stuck around the stage long enough for them to do a song.  They had a bunch of loyal, even fanatical fans who squealed and yelled to everything they did, especially the tight little Replacements-like numbers:  verse, chorus, verse, lead, chorus, Thank you, “Singapore Sling”, “Mama Wants Her Baby Back”—good songs, don’t get me wrong, damn good songs.  But the band looked so weird.  I dunno.  Not so much the way they were dressed—Frank in that James Dean / Monterey Pop Jimi outfit and that trashed little Les Paul in his giant Mexican hands; Derek like Keith Moon might have looked like if he had played for Gene Vincent, with those giant sticks he launch off his ride, actually hitting and hurting people;  Eric, beautiful, serene, stoned, even if he weren’t, fingers snaking across the frets bloozin’, jazzin’, rockin’ it—and Lex, that crazed rasping voice belied by the almost pretty face El Greco’d in the shitty bar lighting, body twisting, rolling, writhing, staggering—drunk off his ass, pounding his head on the mike stand, laughing laughing laughing, the pretty pink scarf draped besodden round his neck billowing in the breeze blown by Derek’s giant floor fan.  Frank is in the middle of some bloozy rock shuffle (“Lord of the Highway”) and it is an audience favorite, they’re digging it at the pool tables, shaking their cues to the beat, when he starts strangling his guitar, I mean choking it, trying to kill it, you can hear its feedback screams over everything, and he doesn’t stop and it just screams and screams and Eric just digs it and nods to Derek who brings it down, way down, all closed high hat and rim shot, and Lex struggles to his feet, kicks one of the toms laying around across the stage, and just stares at Frank, watching, studying, waiting, catching a breath.  Frank’s playing with the guitar now, moving it around in front of the amp, making funny feedback noises.  Eric stops, Derek taps out a quiet blooz on his shut high hat, its jagged shattered edges sticking out in all directions.  It goes on like that for a while, seconds, minutes, this electric squeal and garbage can tapping.  The audience doesn’t get it, a few applaud, some hoot, a big drunk biker yells something unintelligible.  The band stands there.  The breeze from the fan blows Lex’s scarf.  It quivers a little, barely alive.  Frank pulls his fingers off the guitar’s neck.  The feedback expires.  The stick taps arhythmically, slowly, even more slowly.  The bar is hushed.  Billiard balls clack.  That biker mumbles.  A lady with beautiful legs is walking round by the bar, looking antsy.  People hit furtively from the joint being passed around.  What a weird way to end a set.

I remember the next few seconds in slow motion.  Frank bolts upright and turns on us, some freaked out “Foxy Lady” triplet riff distorted beyond belief explodes out of his amp and then the whole band follows, punctuated by Derek’s tom tom blasts and it’s a freakin’ Motorhead/Hendrix/Zeppelin hurricane, Lex is screaming and it goes on like that for a minute or two, the audience rockin” out or just staring frozen wondering what the fuck has just happened when it stops just–like–that except for Derek’s out of time descending roll skin-crackingly loud and it hangs there, just for a minute, then BOOMP BOOMP BOOMP BAM and what’s this?  Weird guitar, soaring, building on an incredible bass line that just goes on higher with an almost intolerable suspense, drums one two three four five six one two three four five six and Lex on the floor writhing and hurting, first almost in a whisper “Saw your face in the paper…” oblivious to us, to everything but the band, “You know you looked so fine” the vocal melody alien, fragile as a child’s noodling on the piano, or a fragment of a birdsong, recorded and slowed down a hundred times.  Frank is chording now, big guitar chunks smashed together, following the bass line, then leading it, then staggering away crazily into feedback then back into he melody again, Derek’s drums grow louder, Lex is walking across the stage, bumping into Frank, away from Eric, tripping on chords, kicking aside pieces of drums and empty cans, yelling into the microphone, yelling at someone in the song, , then screaming this curdling blues howl into the cacophony of drums, guitar and bass blasting this twisted “Dazed and Confused” riff till the remains lay scattered about the stage and the band asks for a beer for Lex.  “He looks thirsty.  Come on.”  The crowd stood silent for a moment, and then screamed.

Twitter

Why do smart people write such stupid tweets? Give them 140 characters and suddenly they’re back in junior high. Must be that irony thing.  It’s a shame though….it’s such an amazing technology. You learn how to reduce an essay down to a vivid sentence or two…till you  have nothing but the pure essence of what it is you are thinking. A thousand or ten thousand words laid out in 140 characters, and then sent out to hundreds or thousands of people who will understand exactly what it is you are trying to say in the instant it takes them to read the thing.  Wow.
 
But so few people seem to realize this. You’d think a writer, especially, would pick up on this. Instead they make wise ass comments and make themselves look like snide little assholes. I guess  maybe the potential is beyond the current generations using it, really…they can’t get themselves to think in Twitter. Instead they use it just like they text. If you could sext on Twitter it’d be full of naked pictures, and that’s all.

Funny that something as incredibly basic and user friendly as Twitter is a technology that is beyond the evolution of the human mind..so far. Give it twenty years, though. Twitter and all the future mondo-twitters will be used to transmit the most profound ideas and visceral emotions in ways that perhaps 99% of us can’t even imagine–hell, can’t even conceive of–now.

I’m not saying Twitter will replace novels,essays or blogging. But it might become just as significant as al of those. No one would ever have believed that those little Edison shoot ’em ups would ever become as profound as anything done on the stage, that those early jazz cylinders would ever become A Love Supreme, or a few symbols scratched on a mud tablet along the Euphrates River would ever become the zillions of books available on Amazon.  It takes a generation at least even begin to imagine the potential for that. Wish I could be there to see it. But being born to early, I probably am not even equipped to imagine it. Hardwired in the past, I am. Neuroplasticity has it’s limits. Sigh……….